This post may contain affiliate links, please read my full disclosure : here
Here are 14 things I wish I knew before getting married. It’s some of the greatest marriage advice to keep your relationship strong! It’s marriage advice I wish I knew before getting married. This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. How often have you received marriage advice? Certainly, there is no shortage amongst, friends, family and the internet. But have you found any that just grip your attention? The kind that describes what you’re going through so well you almost think it’s written just for you? You save it, bookmark it, screenshot it because it resonated so well, but did you ever implement it? Did you ever try actually incorporating it into your marriage? Do we take the advice and run with it. Or do we get super pumped about the idea and then forget about it two days later? You can get great martial advice, but if you don’t implement it, you’ll never see the difference you want to see. Now listen! Every single one of us is in a relationship that is far from perfect. That is just the way the cookie crumbles. So, we can read every single piece of advice we can get our hands-on. We can even take notes about the tips that speak to us. Take 26 screenshots of things we want to remember and make a plan. But we have to take it a step further. We have to take some action. Try something new. Try something that maybe doesn’t feel that natural. Have the mindset that there is always room for improvement. This is going to give your marriage the very best chance possible! I personally love doing monthly challenges with my spouse. It helps make all the advice you hear a bit more bearable. You can apply this concept here too. Pick one of the marriage advice tips below and try to incorporate it into your life for one month. You’ll be surprised at how much of a difference it makes and how much carries on in the months long after! In marriage, there will be disagreements. It’s normal. You’re two different people that have different upbringings and experiences that got you where you are today and that’s a good thing. It means you each have some different perspectives to bring to the table. Sometimes you are right. Sometimes you are wrong. Sometimes neither of you are wrong, but sometimes being right doesn’t make it all better. Sometimes winning or losing an argument doesn’t make anyone feel better. Don’t get too stuck on being right or obsessed with standing your ground that your marriage suffers. Always be sure to still show respect and don’t say something you’ll regret. If you are trying to win, nobody wins. Compromise is always the better road to take. It is definitely not the easiest road to take. But it is always a better choice and will lead to a better outcome. My husband and I differed on whether we wanted to do pre-martial counseling before we got married. He saw the stigma around it as our future marriage needed help already and I saw it as laying a great foundation for things we may have not thought about that will come up in the grand journey of life and marriage. Here’s where neither of us was wrong but we needed a happy medium. I opted to buy marriage book on Amazon that came with his and her workbooks for us to work at our own pace in the comforts of our own home. He felt much more comfortable with this idea and we got to cover things we haven’t dealt with yet. They were worth every penny and we both got to understand each other a bit more. Why is it so hard to say what we want or need? It seems like it should be so easy. Hard truth: Your spouse isn’t a mind reader. As much as they get to know you over the years, they still don’t know what’s going on in your head. You need to use words. This is what I want. This is what I need. These five-word sentences can be very scary to actually say in real life. But they’d rather hear you say it than for you to be mad at what they didn’t know. Work on getting comfortable with speaking your mind and speaking openly. This takes practice but will become easier in the long run. The path to being good at this may be a little uncomfortable. But it is more than worth it. I think marriage takes a hefty load of determination. We all get told marriage will be hard. But I am not sure how much we take this advice to heart. Both people have to be determined to make it work. Determined to find their way through the rough patches. Marriage is hard! Don’t expect it to be easy. The highs and lows will always be there. Real marriage is not like the movies. Real marriage is what happens when the movie ends. Be realistic. There will be long difficult arguments. There will days that you can’t stand your spouse and you will question why in the heck you married this person… but choose to love them anyway. Be determined to work through it all. We tend to think it may be hard for others but our relationship is different. Yes, it is very true that every relationship is different. But no marriage is immune to the trials and tribulations life is bound to throw your way. There will be times when your marriage is smooth sailing and other times it’s tumultuous. Try to remember the good times in the hard times and really appreciate and enjoy them. When you think of a “D” word associated with marriage, think of determination and not divorce! There is NOTHING wrong with trying to better yourself each day and bettering your marriage shouldn’t be any different. Marriage is this massive life decision we make. It’s a significant life event. But you know what it does not come with? A dang manual. I wish I would have read more marriage books before I got married. Remember how I said in #1 that we did a marriage book. Well, that book did wonders for us. It helped us tackle items that we never had to deal with before marriage and give us actionable tips to come together stronger. It’s giving us a great foundation to start our life journey on and I’m proud to say we did. I still buy different relationship and self-help books because it doesn’t hurt to learn new things that can make you and your relationship with your spouse better than ever! Men and women are very different! I turn to books for a little clarity when I am feeling confused and sort of lost on what to do to fix an issue in my relationship or just looking for a better way to do something. Some of my favorites: This Book and this Book are my absolute favorites to get started with. They are SO DANG GOOD! Appreciate the little things. (more on this later) Make it a point to look for the good things. No matter how small. We may not always be acknowledging the things we are grateful for. But we need to be. We need to not forget our manners. Some days you may feel like a robot going through the motions of day to day life. Going through the motions with your partner. We get used to all the nice things they do for us that we forget to thank them for just that. Give appreciation and gratitude to your spouse. It may seem silly at first because these things they do all the time but do it anyway. You’d be surprised at how nice a compliment feels and how encouraging it is for your spouse to hear. Perhaps they will be willing to do more with just that little bit of encouragement. These few thoughtful words will have a very big impact on your marriage. Manners are important and we should not forget to practice what we preach. Isn’t this what we teach our kids? Marriage is no different. In times of stress, choose kindness. When s/he forgets to put their shoes away or place the laundry on the ground and not actually in the hamper. Do it for them no matter how annoying it is. Sometimes it’s better to keep the peace than have an argument. Find ways to get your point across kindly if it’s something that bugs you. In a marriage, a lack of kindness can become normal. It can seem like no big deal. Now, I am not saying you have to plaster a smile on your face 24/7 and never release an emotion other than positive vibes. But I think basic manners like please and thank you should be a part of your everyday. Model for your kids how you want them to be. Am I being kind? Ask yourself this question periodically throughout your day. Ask yourself this question and then really give an honest answer. Being really listened to is one of the best things in life. Many times, we listen to our partners just long enough to come up with our rebuttal. I am 100% speaking from experience with this. I am absolutely guilty of this. We all are. At times, I am thinking about what I am going to say in return before he’s even finished what he is saying. I’m am afraid of forgetting what I’m going to say that I completely ignore the whole point of the difficult conversation. This is definitely a work in progress for me and it won’t change overnight, but I am working towards being better. This concept is not romantic. Not at all. But the lack of listening is a real issue in relationships. And it needs a real solution. Well, at least a semi-successful solution. Just remember your spouse just wants to be heard just like you. Take the time to give them that and ask them to do the same. Sorry is one of the most difficult things for some people to say. They feel silly and feel like they’re giving up power. But I think the opposite is true. Saying sorry is extremely powerful because it allows you to take responsibility for your actions. Your choices. A sincere apology can and will do so much good for your relationship. Just remember when you say it and mean it. Goals are always a good idea. It gives you something to strive towards in life. When setting personal goals, don’t forget to set marriage goals too. Having marriage goals is a great way to help your relationship thrive. It gives your marriage some direction and some purpose. Setting goals is also a great way to bring you and your partner closer. Come together to work on something that is important to both of you. It makes it exciting because goals remind you that you and your spouse are on a team. You both get to bring to the table what you want to work toward. What you want for your relationship. These goals can be about anything. Communication. Date nights. Vacations. Sex. Nothing is off-limits. Marriage meetings do not sound glamorous. They may not be something that even sounds like it should be a part of a marriage. I prefer to say marriage check-ins. It’s a time each month to get things out on the table and go over those goals you’ve made together. Having weekly or monthly marriage meetings can have such a positive impact on your marriage. This gives a set day and time that you can bring up anything you want to talk about. Meetings are a perfect way to make sure feelings or issues don’t get forgotten about. My husband and I have marriage meetings sometimes as a lunch or coffee day. It is one of the best things we have ever done for our relationship. Try it! In most relationships, you have a spender and a saver. This will cause some tough financial arguments. Especially if you didn’t share a bank account till after you got married. Money fights are listed in the top 3 reasons couples will divorce, so this is an area you have to talk about. At least once a month, you must sit together and look at what money is coming in and what money is going out. You can group this in your marriage meeting. You can discuss goals, money and anything else under the sun in these meetings. Just remember to find common ground and establish goals to make talking about money not as stressful and more exciting in that you’re coming together as a team. Say what?! You heard me. If you’re a very busy couple, sex will be the first thing to go. We have found that scheduling sex helps keep it a priority and we make sure we’re not too tired or too busy for it. When it’s not scheduled, you can always find excuses to not and as you know, it takes two to tango! I know this probably sounds bizarre for most, so if you’re having spontaneous sex often, don’t change a thing and keep going. But if you find yourself wanting it more or having less and less, talk about carving out a chunk of time on your calendar for sexy time. There sure is a stigma that getting help or using resources for your marriage means something is wrong with you and your spouse. Take it from me and my husband. He still struggles with this stigma. He doesn’t feel it’s wrong to go but he doesn’t feel it’s for us. So let me just get it out there, there is absolutely nothing wrong with going to marriage counseling, even when everything is going right. Although most go when there are troubles, there’s nothing wrong with that. Every couple gets stuck and getting help for your relationship means that your relationship and your spouse matter to you and that you have the courage to do something about it. The average couple waits 6 years to get help and often times it’s too late at that point! Marriage will bring out your best and your worst. It will bring out the beautiful parts of you and the ugly parts you are not too proud of. Here is something I know to be true. Your marriage is not going to be gushy texts and love songs forever. It will evolve and grow in ways you may never have imagined. It’ll also have setbacks and roadblocks that you never saw coming. But there is always something you can do. Always something you both can do. If you put a little effort into your relationship every day, you will reap the rewards big time. Hence why those month challenges works so grand in these cases! The small gestures, the common courtesy of saying thank you and I love you, even holding hands in the car all add up and create security in your marriage. It doesn’t have to be big, it’s just the action to show you care. It Try one month doing one extra thing nice for your spouse each week, whether it’s filling their gas tank or bringing them lunch to work. One of my favorite things we did one month was right before we went to bed, we said one thing we loved about the other. It could be what they did that day or just what we appreciate every day. It’s such a nice thing to hear. Even now I know he appreciates me, it feels so nice to hear it. You can always plan more like a special date night, (here are plenty of ideas) but those little things are so dang good. So starting thinking of things you want to implement in your relationship. It doesn’t have to be a lot, just start with 1 or 2, but you’ll be surprised at how much of a difference it makes in your marriage. What are some of your favorites? I’d love to know! Need more date ideas/ relationship advice? Go here Want some delicious recipes? Go here Got the travel bug? Go here Visiting New Orleans? Go here Starting a bucket list? Go here Feeling crafty? Go here Share with friends! 
Marriage Advice I Wish I Knew Before Getting Married
Here Are 14 Pieces of Marriage Advice I Wish Someone Had Told Me
1) There’s Right and Wrong But There’s Alway Compromise.
2) Say What You Want/Need
3) Be Determined, Marriage Isn’t Easy!
4) Read a Marriage or Self Help Book
5) Appreciate Your Spouse More
More Posts You May Love:
6) Always Be Kind
7) Listen To Your Spouse.
8) Know When to Say Sorry
9) Have Personal Goals and Marriage Goals
10) Have Meetings
11. Debt is DUMB.
12. Schedule sex
13. Marriage Counseling Is Actually A Good Thing.
14. The Little Things Really Do Matter.
You also might be interested in
This post may contain affiliate links, please read my full[...]
This post may contain affiliate links, please read my full[...]
This post may contain affiliate links, please read my full[...]
Leave a Reply
Let me know what you think.